Taking Life's Chances
by Coveting Envy
Summary: "...and making sure you enjoy the turnout, is what livings all about Chibi!" /Oneshot collection/ Warnings: Shonen-ai, Language, Some Minor Adult-ish Themes, and Edvy EdxEnvy
1. Sushi

**450-700 words; male character; sushi**

Envy sat and gritted his teeth together hard, each molar grinding against another in an epic display of annoyance. The action was clearly audible in the small space he'd been tensely sitting in for the last twenty minutes, and so didn't go unnoticed by the stunted alchemist sitting across the table.

"Ready to give in, palm tree?" Edward smirked weakly over his own obstacle, golden eyes flickering down once at the milk jar in front of him with the sort of panic that one usually saves for a stare down with a feral tiger.

"In your dreams, Chibi." The homunculus snarled, but turned with a gulp to once again stare down the plate of… _stuff _sitting in front of him.

"O-only ten minutes left and you lose." One side of the pipsqueak's mouth twitched in hysteria as he spoke.

"Your one to talk! I don't see you shoving your face full of moo-moo-juice right now!" Envy returned, voice sliding up a notch as he broke his ongoing glare at the monstrous raw food to point it at the alchemist instead.

Said blonde returned the gesture, flipping the homunculus a half-hearted rude gesture at the same time, before he seemed to steel himself, swiped his white drink off the table, and took a quick gulp before slamming it down and looking at Envy triumphantly.

The dark-haired male stared for a second, before his face twisted in rage and, not to be outdone, he slowly reached forward with pale fingers to grip one of the objects on his plate with all the cautiousness of a snake-handler. Swallowing hard, he tried to imagine it as something else, _anything_ else, and managed to scarf it down without so much as chewing.

"There!"

"I still see two left, _Envy_." Ed's gold eyes narrowed.

"And I still see a fourth of a glass there, _Chibi_." The two teens were locked in a stalemate for a moment, before both noticed the time limit ticking away on the small timer set on the table's edge and returned to the challenge.

Ed took another gulp, Envy succeeded in downing another icky pink lump.

One minute left.

With agonizing slowness and much force of will, Envy slowly managed to reach forward and grab the last item on his plate. Ed's horrified look when he noticed was enough to stave off the nausea as the teen lifted it up and held it at eye-level for a moment, before he brought it to his mouth and-

The timer went off.

Instantly, all the tension bleed out of Envy's preferred form and he jumped up fluidly, throwing the thing in his hand across the room in revenge. Ed did the same almost in unison and bristled at Envy's superior look.

"You haven't won yet, bastard."

"It's only a matter of time, shorty." Envy leaned down, exaggerating the movement to make it a jib, and looked Edward straight in the eye with dancing, amethyst pupils. "Same time next week?"

"I'll see you kiss the dirt at my feet." Ed hissed by way of agreement. Then, "I can't believe _that_ is what you hate the most."

Envy glared at his snicker. "Hey! Sushi's way worse than _milk_! It's gross, raw _fish_!"

"Milk is evil incarnate, sushi is food!" The blonde grumbled.

"At least not having sushi won't staunch _my_ growth." He gave the shorter boy a significant look, then deftly skirted out of the way of the metallic fist that was flung in his direction, smirking arrogantly for a moment before he twisted out of the window and went giggling over the rooftops…

…leaving a particularly pissed off alchemist behind to pay the bill.

**609 words.**

**This collection will just be made up of completely random drabbles (inspired by prompts I get from an online generator *link is on my profile*) using these two. All of them will most likely be very short. Hope you enjoy!**


	2. Childhood

**350-500 words; third person; childhood memories**

Edward didn't like to think of his childhood.

It brought back and reopened way too many scabbed over wounds that spoke of the time when his mother still waited at the doorstep every afternoon with a smile and a hug.

Back when everything wasn't a game of life and death and he'd never seen a little girl's remains splattered on the sidewalk like common trash.

Back when his brother still had flesh and bones to feel with and eyes to cry with. Before he'd gone and screwed everything up, committed the taboo, and they'd still had a home to return to. Bastard father or not.

Gold eyes screwed up shut over an open heart at that point and he pushed his hands into his pockets further, quickening his pace and ignoring everything but the cold wind on his face.

No, Edward Elric did not like to think of his childhood.

* * *

><p>Sometimes Envy liked to wonder what it would have been like to have had a childhood.<p>

He'd imagine his adorable form, younger, shorter and impossibly cuter - a lot like the Fullmetal pipsqueak actually -, walking in one of those dung-heap towns to some run-down school to learn things that didn't matter. Not to him at least.

He'd go back and remember all of those times when he'd caught himself, behind bushes or in trees, stopping to watch a random group of worthless baby humans as they played a game or, once, made a snow-man. The kids then had all been golden - golden hair golden smiles.

But only one had the precious golden eyes - and he wasn't a kid. Not anymore.

Maybe he'd have had friends. Little flunkies, that he was obviously better than, to show off to and, of course, amaze. He could almost imagine the looks on their faces. _'Oh, your so awesome!' _

And then he'd realize he was glaring at a random group of kids, scoff, and move onto some different area muttering '_of course'_ under his breath like the answer mattered to anyone at all.

Jealousy was such an ugly emotion.

But, Envy was more than used to it.

**356 words.**

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	3. White

**Drabble (150-200 words); character study; white**

_Everything was white. Too white. It was blinding after all of the dark he'd been in for too long. Far too long… Why was it white again?_

Slowly, carefully, one golden eye blinked open. Then the other followed quickly as they took in his surroundings. Off-white tiled floor, white walls, white curtains.

"Wha-?"

"Oh good your awake." The voice brought his attention to a young women writing on a clipboard in her hands. Brown, short hair. Brown eyes, non-descript.

No purple, no green. Ed relaxed. "How did I-?"

"Your _very_ lucky to be alive, you know." Ed stopped, she smirked. Some small part of his brain screeched a warning-

Then, inexplicably, she winked. "Stop cutting it so close. We wouldn't want to lose you-"

Ed was forced to close his eyes and rise his arms protectively as a sudden gust of wind buffeted the room, leaving only on last word flouting in the air…

"_Chibi."_

Of course, he'd never really _escaped_ after all.

That made sense.

**166 words.**

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	4. Handcuffs

**A thousand thanks to TheChemistOfAmestris for being my first reviewer! And if anyone else spots any mistakes, feel free to point them out!**

* * *

><p><strong>Write for 45 minutes; An Idea; handcuffs <strong>

Sometimes Envy wondered why he always got stuck with the most menial jobs _ever_. It was boring to say the least, and incredibly infuriating to say the most.

Like now, for instance.

How in the hell getting arrested - just so he could 'nonchalantly' pass a note of information on to a possible mass murderer in central's prison - was a job worthy of his skills, was beyond the homunculus. So what if his shape changing ability was 'perfect' for it, he tried not to pout like a child, they could've just gotten Wrath to do it.

Already, the restraining cuffs on his hands had gone past annoying and way into uncomfortable, and the bench he was sitting on was slowly making his butt go numb. On top of that, he hadn't even been able to complete the job yet because his persona was apparently 'wanted for questioning' by some random alchemist.

So, in short, Envy was having a bad day.

And then, the Chibi walked in and his prospects got enormously brighter.

"Nah, you guys wait outside, this shouldn't take long." The blonde was assuring his brother and several guards, but it still took several more promises before he managed to get them all on the other side of a closed door. Envy resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Humans were entirely to stupid for their own good. It was obvious that a chained up prisoner could do nothing if he was like that, chained up, but they were too dumb to see that and insisted on worrying anyway. The whole thing made him want to gag. Though, in retrospect, maybe it was justified seeing as he wasn't just a regular chained up prisoner.

"Finally." Ed's voice brought Envy out of his musing and the homunculus instantly assumed the stoic face his persona was infamous for.

"If you want to question me, I've already told the pol-"

"Cut the crap, Envy." Said homunculus blinked, then smirked and slid back into his usual form easily. Ed watched with an unreadable expression.

"Saw right through me, eh shorty?" He brushed a lock of green-tinted black hair behind one ear as Ed reddened, but didn't explode as expected. Envy nearly grinned with amusement, changing it up wasn't he?

"Yeah, um-" He looked down at the file on the table briefly, "Ross Furan was killed three days ago by his accomplice, who them confessed." The blonde read off in monotone, before he began pacing distractedly.

"Aah, there goes Lust. Screwing the job up again." Envy yawned and stretched. If Ed noticed the lack of handcuffs, he didn't show it. "So, why are you here, Chibi?"

"My own choice. Nobody else knows about Furan, since I haven't filed the report yet." He clarified and stopped pacing right in front of the desk and leaned foreword to fix Envy with a look. "And I thought we agreed last time that you'd try to stay _away_ from Central?"

"And I thought we agreed a long time ago that if you could be a stubborn ass, I could too." Envy smirked and took advantage of the shorter male's position, leaning foreword to give him a long, lingering kiss that washed away the dirty room's smell and replaced it with sunshine and cologne. Ah, he'd missed this - it wasn't any fun out in the country without his Chibi around.

"Yeah, but how am I supposed to explain the fact that a criminal who died several days ago, is in prison today?" Ed managed after Envy broke contact so that he could circle around and pull the blonde into a tight embrace.

"Don't worry about it." Envy purred, and shushed any protest the alchemist might've made by otherwise engaging his mouth in more 'enjoyable' activities. It was only after two distinct clicks were heard that he broke it off again, leaving them both panting and Ed slightly cross-eyed. "There, see."

"Wha-?" The alchemist noticed the handcuffs attaching his hand to the table, which was bolted to the floor, in the same moment that Envy flashed back into his criminal persona, not forgetting to place one last peck on the shorter male's nose before he did so.

"Try not to let it hurt your pride too much, but I'm gonna escape." Envy resisted the urge to laugh at Ed's flabbergasted expression as he broke a hole in the way, setting off several alarms, and blew his Chibi one a kiss. "And expect me at your apartment later."

The homunculus licked his lips suggestively, making the alchemist turn a color that matched his coat quite nicely, before he turned back to the large hole - "And don't forget to smudge that report just a bit~." and jumped, flipping once before landing on his feet with ease at the front gate.

Wrath would just have to do the job after all. Envy had much better things to attend too.

**817 words.**

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	5. Fresh Fruit

**Write for 10 minutes; dialogue; fresh fruit**

"Envy."

"Hum?"

"What is that?"

"A watermelon."

"And why is the watermelon on our living room floor?"

"I stole it from someone."

"Envy."

"Yes~?"

"Why the hell would you steal a watermelon from some random person, just so you could set it on the floor and stare at it like a weirdo!"

"Because…"

"Because _why_?"

"I am contemplating becoming this watermelon, Chibi-chan."

"…"

"I mean, it's so cute and the colors on it are amazing and who in the world doesn't like watermelons?"

"Envy…"

"Hmm?"

"Please, don't."

**87 words.**

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	6. Toys

**POV - Third Person (limited); character study; toys**

"That's mine." A cute, childish, voice intoned managing to break over the mess of noise going on in the small classroom with the depth of his solemnity.

"I don't see your name on it!" The green, spiky-haired kid - imagine an adorable, human palm tree - he was speaking too, however, did not seem to get the point and only snickered at the shorter boy, narrowing his amethyst eyes into a possessive expression.

"I saw it first, picked it up first, and started playing with it first! So that makes it mine!" The first boy shouted then. Screw being polite, he'd definitely seen and claimed the toy train _way_ before the other boy! So it wasn't fair that he could just walk up and take it!

"Well, I saw it second. Wanted it. Took it. And now it's mine, since I'm taller. How's that?" The elder smirked superiorly and would've walked away right then if one little thing hadn't stopped him. "Oh, wait! Shit, don't cry!"

"I am not short!" The golden haired boy sniffled, instantly going to wipe his eyes as he glanced longingly at the wooden toy once again. "And my mom says your not supposed to say bad words like that."

"Like what, shit?" The older male looked surprised, instantly distracted from his panic from before, and the younger blinked in awe. He hadn't even looked over his shoulder to see if an adult was there to get him in trouble! And now he was just laughing it away! "Look, kid, maybe you shouldn't listen to everything your mom says. This isn't preschool anymore, you know…"

"Yeah, it's kindar-garden." Golden eyes narrowed a bit as he struggled to say the large word, all traces of tears gone as fast as they'd come. The green-haired kid sniffed.

"For you maybe. _I'm_ in the third grade." He stated, shoving one thumb toward his chest proudly and bringing the little blonde's attention back to the toy train in his hand, as it jangled. "So, I know a lot more than you do."

The toddler bit his lip. He was really tempted to disagree an start another fight, but what if the other boy did know better? The third grade made him practically _ancient_…

"Oi, did I break your brain, pipsqueak?" The older boy asked, apparently getting bored now that the littler one had gone quiet.

"I am not short! Stop calling me things like that, meany!" Instantly, the younger's temper flared up again at the reference to his height and brought the smirk right back onto the elder's face.

"I'm not mean, your just sensitive, _shorty_." He leaned down and grinned. "And what else am I supposed to call you?"

"Ed! That's my name, stupid!" Ed huffed and glared, glaring daggers at the third grader who was still holding the toy he wanted and looking infuriatingly triumphant for some reason.

"Well, _Ed_," He almost seemed to taste the word, and seemed to like the way it rolled off his tongue. "My name's Envy. Maybe I'll see you around some time."

The was a clatter of wood and Envy turned and strolled away, leaving Ed to look down, dumb-struck, at the toy at his feet then back up to the thin, black-covered retreating back of the green-haired boy.

Maybe he wasn't bad after all, Ed mused as he leaned down to pick up the small train, after all, he did give back what was rightfully Ed's…

And then, of course, the bell rang. Signifying the end of recess. Which made the toy in his hands completely useless since playtime was over. Slowly, methodically, Ed walked over and placed the train neatly on top of the messy pile of toys, with a straight face.

Then he tore off like a banshee in search of his new worst enemy.

"Envy!"

**636 words.**


	7. A Situation

**500-1000 words; A Medical Situation; Ritual**

The doctor's waiting room was small. Which was appropriate considering the size of the town it was in… But then, Envy - being a big-city boy himself - never liked stopping to consider how 'appropriate' something was. So he just stopped at small. And dirty.

"Do you seriously want to be here?"

"Its better than anywhere else at the moment."

"Leave."

"Nope."

"I'll _pay_ you to leave."

"What the hell would I do with your money in this dinky town?" Envy snorted, snickering from his reclined position when Ed's expression only turned, impossibly, more determined.

"I'll tell you where the guy who sells hard liquor in his basement lives _and_ pay you if you take a hike _right now_." This made the older teen quirk a brow. If Edo was this desperate to get him out of there, something fun was bound to happen.

"No chance in hell O'Chibi-san!" Envy grinned widely and leaned foreword to watch as Ed sighed and hit his head on the wall behind him dejectedly. "Besides, _your_ brother was the one who asked me to come along and make sure you don't assault any unsuspecting doctors." He chimed to rub it in.

"And I'm planning on how to get him back every second." The blonde muttered darkly, only adding to Envy's amusement.

"Elric, Edward?" An attendant's monotone voice called suddenly from the doorway opposite of the exit, interrupting their conversion and causing Edward to go pale. A fact that Envy noticed with glee.

"Here he is!" The green-haired teen proclaimed, in the same moment Ed started to make for the door out, reaching out to catch the younger male by his hood as he did so. "C'mon Edo, wouldn't wanna miss your _appointment_."

'_And whatever the hell is unnerving him so much' _Envy snickered mentally, easily hauling said protesting, and loudly cursing, teen behind him by his shirt as he walked up to join the flabbergasted attendant where she still stood in front of the door.

It was only when they'd reached said doorway that she managed to get some semblance of thought together - what, she'd never seen a boy wearing only a crop-top and skort gleefully drag another boy, who looked like he might be heading for certain death, across a room before? - and interrupted Ed's shouting.

"Um, sir, only the parent or guardian of the patient may accompany them into the back unless the have special permission to-"

"Oh, I have permission." Envy cut in smoothly, shooting her a glare that left no room for argument and squashing Ed's last strand of hope beneath his bare foot. He added the next part for the blonde alone. "And I don't think the poor Chibi could survive without me since he seems unable to even walk on his own, huh?"

"Fuck. You." and a scathing look were all the answer Ed gave, but he still yanked away and stood on his own, motioning for the aid to go on and pushing past Envy with a steely look when she did.

Envy just rolled his shoulders in response. If anything, Ed's hostility only made the situation that much more amusing. Especially when the blonde caught sight of the measuring stick taped to the wall and stiffened up like mouse in front a cat's mouth.

"Please step over here Mr. Elric." The attendant instructed, apparently trying to ignore Envy completely now. "Heels against the wall. Thank you."

There was a scratching sound as the attendant quickly wrote down the results, then blinked, looked troubled and checked again with apparently no change. Ed swallowed, Envy leaned foreword expectantly.

"Mr. Elric… have you… shrunk since last year?" That seemed to be the final straw. Envy felt his mouth twitch once in unison with Ed's left eye, before they both cracked in completely different ways.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TODDLER SO SMALL HE CAN'T EVEN SEE OVER THE KITCHEN COUNTER!" He yelled at the stunned attendant and probably would've jumped her at that moment if a giggling Envy hadn't grabbing him under both arms and pulled him back the way they came, waving a cheery goodbye to the poor shell-shocked women.

Luckily, Ed stopped shouting once they were outside and only shot Envy a single, very embarrassed look, before he took off in a quick walk down the street. The taller teen caught up easily, still laughing, which only made the blonde's blush worse.

"How could you possibly be _shorter_ than your last physical?" Envy managed after a minute, wiping tears of enjoyment out of his eyes. He'd expected Ed to blow up again at these words, he didn't expect the younger male to stop suddenly and glare at his toes like it was all their fault and mumble something intelligible under his breath.

"What's that? Speak up a little." Ed scowled.

"I said-! I… wore the wrong shoes…" Envy blinked and slowly let his eyes drift down to take in the distinct absence of the Chibi's usual platform-boots. Instantly, he felt another round of giggling come on, but managed to push it down when he also noticed the miserable look on the blonde's face.

"Awww, well." Ed looked up when a warm arm was suddenly thrown around his shoulder and Envy began tugging him along once again like he'd never stopped. "There's always next year O'Chibi-san!" He grinned.

"Besides, tall would look weird on you anyways."

"Shut up!"

**895 words.**

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	8. Never Again

**Drabble/ 150-200 words; Humor; Never Again**

"Awww, c'mon!"

"No!"

"Just this once?"

"That's what you said last time!"

"And I'm sure I'll say it again, O'Chibi-san~" A certain homunculus crowed, smirking smugly at his boyfriend's indignant look. "Beside's, it's adorable!"

"It is in no way 'adorable'." Ed returned scathingly, eyeing the article of clothing in Envy's hands like it might bite him. "And were not getting it! Al sent us for bread and eggs, and that's _it_."

"Awww." The taller teen pouted and stuck out his bottom lip in one last show of pure, guiltless wheedling. "You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Ed rolled his eyes, glad that the androgynous boy finally seemed to be giving up, and stepped back onto the path toward the actual food isles in the small store. "Never again will I allow you to buy me clothes, yeesh."

A polar opposite of the blonde, Envy purred at the memory of _that _certain time, and, making sure the Chibi wasn't looking his way, slipped the skimpy garment into their shopping basket anyway.

Ed would definitely be thanking him later.

**176 words.**

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**Thanks to Lilac Rose6 for pionting out a blooper in the last chapter!**


	9. Buried Treasure

**Write for- 10 minutes; An Idea; Buried Treasure**

Shamelessly, Envy waggled his rump in the air as he bent over double the shuffle through the growing pile of stuff at his feet. It wasn't as if it mattered anyway, Edo was all the way downstairs and nobody else was home. So, he went ahead and stuck out his tongue, letting the excitement of the hunt show on his face.

He'd been searching for almost ten minutes and still hadn't found any hopeful prospects: some old receipts, a candy wrapper, Ed's alchemy watch (which probably was a bad thing, but that's the Chibi's problem), and moth balls galore, but that didn't detour the homunculus at all. In fact he'd actually started throwing things in his exhilaration.

He wasn't going to stop until he'd finally found- There!

"Envy?" Ed's voice calling from downstairs momentarily distracted the dark-haired teen, but he was way too close to give in now. "Are you stealing my money again?"

"Of course not." Envy huffed, in a mutter so that the Fullmetal pipsqueak wouldn't hear. Deftly, he jumped onto the window sill with his prize clutched in his hands. "This is so much better!"

Later, he'd settle down on some rooftop and enjoy the years of blackmail he held in his hands, but right now it was better to get as far away as possible before Ed found out that his room had been trashed…

And that his baby pictures were strangely missing.

**237 words.**

***head/desk* You know, I'd actually started to think that this might be the one story I updated regularly till the end. I should've known myself better. Sorry for the late update!**

**Review!**


	10. Hair

**Dialogue; humor; hair**

"Ugh! See? Now it's all over the place!"

"Well if you'd just let me-"

"It'd better not be in my fuckin' _hair_ or I swear I'll-"

"-mix _and_ stir in the first place, then we wouldn't even be-"

"-cut you off for a week and you will _not_ be getting any mister-"

"-in this mess! And who cares if it got in your hair! What about _mine_!"

"-pipsqueak! _I_ care and you should too! Mine's like three feet longer than yours!"

"Yeah but mine's in a _braid_! It more concentrated so it'll take _forever_ to get out!"

"…You guys do realize how girly you sound right now… right?"

"Al! You just don't _understand_!"

"You buzz-cutted _jerk_."

"…"

**117 words.**

**Well, that's the end of this tiny drabble collection! Or at least the end of the ones I had written and, seeing as I have another story going on a different profile that I'm really bad about updating, that means the completion of this! Thank you TheChemistofAmestris, LilacRose6, and The Girl Named Bailey for reviewing! I love you guys!**

**If you like my writing, author alert me! Because I'm pretty sure I'll be writing more edvy stuff.**

**Sorry this is so sudden, it's how I roll~! :)**


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